Welcome to the Zoo

Posted: September 1st, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Since I was born in the 70s, I grew up watching a lot of TV. Luckily this was a sort of golden age for children’s television, and I still have fond memories of parking myself on the carpet to watch Captain Kangaroo, The Electric Company and, of course, Sesame Street.

I was also scarred for life by some of the crazy shit on the airwaves at the time. Personally, I always thought the World of Make-Believe on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood was a little eerie, and Sigmund and the Sea Monsters? Let me put it this way: The last time I was really sick, running a high fever and sweating through sinister nightmares, it was Sigmund’s face I saw.

Yeah – that’s the one.

One show I watched consistently – even though it always made me uneasy and depressed at the same time – was New Zoo Revue. My sister loved this lurid little piece of programming. She’d even prance around the house singing the theme song until I threw something at her.

I’d sit there watching the show and wonder: Where are all the people? Why are all these animals such jerks? Why don’t their mouths match what they’re saying? Seriously, what happened to all the people?!

A lot of my New Zoo angst was directed at Henrietta Hippo, who I’m pretty sure must’ve been a prostitute in the old days back at the watering hole. Flouncing around the yard, Henrietta was girlish in a way that oozed desperation, slathered in make-up and disturbingly fleshy. I can only guess at the long-term affects this had on me.

Looking back on it now, the set-up – from the pastel sterility of the house and the artificial farminess of the yard, to the watery cave that was Freddie the Frog’s bedroom – was setting off all kinds of alarm bells. You know that feeling you get when you walk into a place and your brain instantly flashes, “Serial Killer”? Like that.

I will admit, though, that I sort of had a thing for Emmy Jo.

Beat it, Henrietta.


For whatever reason, I was thinking about New Zoo Revue last night, just as I was falling asleep (naturally). It occurred to me that some people might not be familiar with this slice of children’s television, so I thought I’d inflict … er, I mean, share … it with you.

A few years ago my psyche was healed a little bit by this outtake (NSFW!):

And that’s when I understood something: These people were completely wasted.

Loading Facebook Comments ...

2 Comments on “Welcome to the Zoo”

  1. 1 TitanKT said at 1:26 pm on September 1st, 2011:

    Hilariously funny and so well-written it nearly made me weep with laughter! So true!!! I used to LOVE Sigmund and the Seamonsters (his one little toof is so cute!), not to mention the acid-trip weirdness of H.R. Pufinstuff, the Bugaloos and other costumed-character weirdness. I think my favorite was the Mighty Isis, though.

    I’m in total agreement with your last statement. I do believe the general consensus from all of us who loved these shows as kids, is that clearly these writers were all wasted.

  2. 2 FirstChristin said at 2:11 am on November 14th, 2017:

    I have noticed you don’t monetize your website, don’t waste your traffic, you can earn extra bucks
    every month because you’ve got high quality content. If you want to know how to make extra bucks, search for: Boorfe’s tips best adsense alternative

Leave a Reply